I am Tired!!!
Good morning to my readers,
Today I am going to veer away from my usual life stories, my thoughts on relationships, and all the funny things I write about. Today I am going to get real serious. I am going to keep it really real. If you think this blog today is too real, then I suggest you don't read it and come back when I write about something a bit lighthearted. I may ruffle a few feathers and if you take offence then maybe you are part of the problem.
Yesterday, I woke up to another hashtag #AltonSterling. The minute I saw it, I quickly went to google to read up why another name has been hashtagged. Another death by police. All he did or allegedly because nothing has been proven yet, is that he stood in front of a store that he was allowed to stand in front of and sell cds. He was shot 6 times. "Allegedly" he had a gun and had threatened the life of someone. According to the store owner Alton Sterling was in his store 5 mins earlier and they were joking around, teasing each other and he came in to buy a drink. If this man was laughing and joking 5 mins earlier who got him so mad in 5 mins for him to allegedly pull a gun on someone? That does not make any sense to me. But what do I know?, I wasn't there, I wasn't a witness. I'm just going by the video and what bystanders are saying. So what if he did have a gun? What if he was threatening someone's life? Are the police trained to not use force unless absolutely necessary? Are they not supposed to talk to him and convince him to put his gun down? Are they not supposed to negotiate with him first before they use force? So many questions? Another black man, with a family shot down in cold blood. His family never to see him again. A wife waiting at home in vain, knowing her man will be home later that night only to be told that her husband will never come home. Children, waiting to run in their father's arms, being told you will never hug your father again. Goodness!! Is this the world we live in.
Before I went to bed, I prayed for all our black men and women that God will protect us. I prayed for everyone around the world who are in danger. I went to bed thinking, ok today was a sad day but I will not wake up to another hashtag. It is too soon to have another person die due to police brutality. Boy was I wrong! I woke up and saw a video my sister had posted in our family group chat of another black man in his car hunched over, whilst his girlfriend talked to the police officer and told him he had shot her boyfriend. That her boyfriend was dead. That all they had was a broken tail light. Clearly you could tell the police officer knew what he had done and yet was telling the woman to keep her hands lowered. I quickly sent the video to my girl and said not again. She told me she hasn't slept since seeing it. Again another hashtag #PhilandoCastille, shot in front of his daughter and girlfriend. His daughter will grow up without her father, her daughter growing up fearing the police. The daughter growing up afraid to walk down the street because she doesn't know if that will be her last walk. What a world we live in!
Now don't get me wrong, I see what is going on around the world. I see Isis, bombing up Baghdad! I see Boko Haram, kidnapping our girls. I see Turkey being bombed. I see a man who walks into a gay club and kills 49 people in cold blood. I see it, trust me I see it. I'm not blind or oblivious to it. But at the end of the day, despite everything going on, I am still a black woman and I live in a world where my skin colour is still apparently a problem. I live in a world, where being black and having black loved ones who could possibly be minding their business can get killed by the very people who are supposed to serve and protect us. Should I be scared of terrorist, yes of course, they are killing innocent people too. But should I be scared of the police, I honestly think I should be.
Now, don't misconstrue my words. Just because some people in a group of people are doing certain things to make the whole group look bad does not mean everyone in that group is the same. I can't say all moslems are terrorist. Because that is false and an unfair statement. Are all Mexicans rapist, no of course not, are all black men lazy, gang bangers, shooting up their neighbourhoods definitely not. Are all police men and women bad. Absolutely not! The same way I do not want anyone to put me in a stereotype and say all black women are the same, ghetto, loud, opinionated, good for nothing. That does not define, most of the black women I know. Stereotypes are not going to solve the problem. But at this point in time, I am tired of all the hashtags that I see on a constant basis. When I am blessed with children, do I have to teach them that your skin colour is going to cause you problems. Be scared when you see a police car. Do not wear a hoodie, do not drive because you are black. Do not go to a store and buy candy, don't be seen playing in the park. Don't be seen at the corner. Don't put your bed by the window because a bullet can come through your window. You know what don't even breathe.
But let me address my issues too, I live in a city that is one of the most diverse cities in the world. I think we are even more diverse than New York City. A city I see different races, ethnicities, religions, cultures all living together. Ever since moving back to Canada, I have met people from countries I had never heard of in my life. I have eaten food from cultures I never thought I will eat because I haven't had the opportunity to go there. I live in a city that I can learn about many cultures without having to visit the country. But, let me not digress, my point is, all these different people, the one community that is most divided is our black community. Believe it or not. I am not saying that in other races and communities they don't have division, but in my community we differentiate ourselves, from Africans, Caribbeans, African Americans. We all look down on each other. Even within our own communities we hate on each other. I mean slowly and surely we are slowly getting together but the truth is there is still a huge divide among ourselves. In the work place, you have the Asians, helping each other out, building themselves, giving each other opportunities, we have the Middle Easterns doing the same. We see the Latin Americans keeping close to each other. We see even the whites are sticking together. Even the LGBTQ community binding together. But yet in the black community we are divided. We do not patronize black businesses, we don't want to marry each other because some black men think black women are not attractive. Some black women think all black men are too hood. I am tired of going to the hair store to buy hair for braids and I see my black women on the floor, stocking the store, or attending to customers but answering to their Asian bosses who own the black hair stores. I am tired of listening to the news and we are turning against each other and killing each other. I am tired of our own looking at our own skin tones and looking down on each other because, someone is "too dark". I am tired of our people saying why would I want to date a dark skinned women or man because my babies will come out too dark. Not helping our brothers and sisters in the work place to get to higher positions. Black women hating on each other. Giving the look over to make sure the other woman is not cuter than them.
I love me some reality shows, God knows, it is my guilty pleasure. Sitting there watching people on tv making a fool of themselves. But yes because of people like me that is how we keep ourselves down. Recently I was in NYC, and I went to visit a good friend of mine. Whilst I was at his home, he said I know how much you love reality shows and I want to experience watching it with you. So let's watch one of your favourite shows. So of course I chose Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. We watched it and he enjoyed watching it with me and he got excited as some parts and laughed his head off. He thought it was hilarious. But as we were watching, before we continue, my friend is a black male. He said something that stuck with me. He said these people are dressed up buffoons, paid to make a fool out of themselves. He also said, there is a black man on tv who would have two black women fight over him because he refuses to keep it real with them. He said, why would you have two women fight over you because you refuse to tell them truth to 'spare their feelings' when in actual fact you are tearing them down. So I thought about what he said after I left him and I realized, here we are watching a show by a network that is making our people look stupid and I am stupid enough to watch our people being torn down and made to look like dressed up buffoons. Act the fool and do stupid things for a pay cheque. Not all money is good money. Just for a paycheque will I reduce myself to nothing? Maybe not. I recently refused to apply for a job for a tobacco company because I would rather not work for a company that is selling cancer. But am I any better for watching a show that is killing our black pride?
I can go on and on about everything that is wrong in the world. What is wrong in community. But I can say this, until we love one another, until, we put our money in our black businesses, until we raise our children to love ourselves regardless of our skin tone, until we see how powerful black love is, until, we teach our kids that education is very important and how we have to teach our kids about who we are where we came from. Until we think that having multiple baby mamas or baby daddies makes us real men or women. Until we see how powerful the black family is. Until we stop looking at what separates us but rather what unites us we will continue having these problems. My mom always used to tell us this as kids, always stay close. Even when you and your siblings have fought, do not let any outsider see that. Because once you sell your sibling out to a stranger, you invite a stranger to come and divide you and your relationships will never be repaired. This applies to our race, how often do you hear of other communities fighting among themselves. Of course they do, but to the world they stand united against other people.
#AltonSterling, #PhilandoCastille, #TamirRice, #EricGarner #TrayvonMartin,#SandraBland #MikeBrown the names are endless may the all RIP, to all the names that did not make the news RIP, don't let their names just be hashtags, say their names, remind yourselves that until we unite, until we fight the good fight, we fight with our dollars, we fight with education, we fight with black love, we fight with our unity, unfortunately there will be more names that will become hashtags.
Let peace reign but don't stay silent, don't stay sleep. As Jesse Williams said 'Just because we are magic does not mean we are not real'
Stay woke people stay woke!!!
God bless you and I love each and everyone of you.
A.P.W
xoxo
Today I am going to veer away from my usual life stories, my thoughts on relationships, and all the funny things I write about. Today I am going to get real serious. I am going to keep it really real. If you think this blog today is too real, then I suggest you don't read it and come back when I write about something a bit lighthearted. I may ruffle a few feathers and if you take offence then maybe you are part of the problem.
Yesterday, I woke up to another hashtag #AltonSterling. The minute I saw it, I quickly went to google to read up why another name has been hashtagged. Another death by police. All he did or allegedly because nothing has been proven yet, is that he stood in front of a store that he was allowed to stand in front of and sell cds. He was shot 6 times. "Allegedly" he had a gun and had threatened the life of someone. According to the store owner Alton Sterling was in his store 5 mins earlier and they were joking around, teasing each other and he came in to buy a drink. If this man was laughing and joking 5 mins earlier who got him so mad in 5 mins for him to allegedly pull a gun on someone? That does not make any sense to me. But what do I know?, I wasn't there, I wasn't a witness. I'm just going by the video and what bystanders are saying. So what if he did have a gun? What if he was threatening someone's life? Are the police trained to not use force unless absolutely necessary? Are they not supposed to talk to him and convince him to put his gun down? Are they not supposed to negotiate with him first before they use force? So many questions? Another black man, with a family shot down in cold blood. His family never to see him again. A wife waiting at home in vain, knowing her man will be home later that night only to be told that her husband will never come home. Children, waiting to run in their father's arms, being told you will never hug your father again. Goodness!! Is this the world we live in.
Before I went to bed, I prayed for all our black men and women that God will protect us. I prayed for everyone around the world who are in danger. I went to bed thinking, ok today was a sad day but I will not wake up to another hashtag. It is too soon to have another person die due to police brutality. Boy was I wrong! I woke up and saw a video my sister had posted in our family group chat of another black man in his car hunched over, whilst his girlfriend talked to the police officer and told him he had shot her boyfriend. That her boyfriend was dead. That all they had was a broken tail light. Clearly you could tell the police officer knew what he had done and yet was telling the woman to keep her hands lowered. I quickly sent the video to my girl and said not again. She told me she hasn't slept since seeing it. Again another hashtag #PhilandoCastille, shot in front of his daughter and girlfriend. His daughter will grow up without her father, her daughter growing up fearing the police. The daughter growing up afraid to walk down the street because she doesn't know if that will be her last walk. What a world we live in!
Now don't get me wrong, I see what is going on around the world. I see Isis, bombing up Baghdad! I see Boko Haram, kidnapping our girls. I see Turkey being bombed. I see a man who walks into a gay club and kills 49 people in cold blood. I see it, trust me I see it. I'm not blind or oblivious to it. But at the end of the day, despite everything going on, I am still a black woman and I live in a world where my skin colour is still apparently a problem. I live in a world, where being black and having black loved ones who could possibly be minding their business can get killed by the very people who are supposed to serve and protect us. Should I be scared of terrorist, yes of course, they are killing innocent people too. But should I be scared of the police, I honestly think I should be.
Now, don't misconstrue my words. Just because some people in a group of people are doing certain things to make the whole group look bad does not mean everyone in that group is the same. I can't say all moslems are terrorist. Because that is false and an unfair statement. Are all Mexicans rapist, no of course not, are all black men lazy, gang bangers, shooting up their neighbourhoods definitely not. Are all police men and women bad. Absolutely not! The same way I do not want anyone to put me in a stereotype and say all black women are the same, ghetto, loud, opinionated, good for nothing. That does not define, most of the black women I know. Stereotypes are not going to solve the problem. But at this point in time, I am tired of all the hashtags that I see on a constant basis. When I am blessed with children, do I have to teach them that your skin colour is going to cause you problems. Be scared when you see a police car. Do not wear a hoodie, do not drive because you are black. Do not go to a store and buy candy, don't be seen playing in the park. Don't be seen at the corner. Don't put your bed by the window because a bullet can come through your window. You know what don't even breathe.
But let me address my issues too, I live in a city that is one of the most diverse cities in the world. I think we are even more diverse than New York City. A city I see different races, ethnicities, religions, cultures all living together. Ever since moving back to Canada, I have met people from countries I had never heard of in my life. I have eaten food from cultures I never thought I will eat because I haven't had the opportunity to go there. I live in a city that I can learn about many cultures without having to visit the country. But, let me not digress, my point is, all these different people, the one community that is most divided is our black community. Believe it or not. I am not saying that in other races and communities they don't have division, but in my community we differentiate ourselves, from Africans, Caribbeans, African Americans. We all look down on each other. Even within our own communities we hate on each other. I mean slowly and surely we are slowly getting together but the truth is there is still a huge divide among ourselves. In the work place, you have the Asians, helping each other out, building themselves, giving each other opportunities, we have the Middle Easterns doing the same. We see the Latin Americans keeping close to each other. We see even the whites are sticking together. Even the LGBTQ community binding together. But yet in the black community we are divided. We do not patronize black businesses, we don't want to marry each other because some black men think black women are not attractive. Some black women think all black men are too hood. I am tired of going to the hair store to buy hair for braids and I see my black women on the floor, stocking the store, or attending to customers but answering to their Asian bosses who own the black hair stores. I am tired of listening to the news and we are turning against each other and killing each other. I am tired of our own looking at our own skin tones and looking down on each other because, someone is "too dark". I am tired of our people saying why would I want to date a dark skinned women or man because my babies will come out too dark. Not helping our brothers and sisters in the work place to get to higher positions. Black women hating on each other. Giving the look over to make sure the other woman is not cuter than them.
I love me some reality shows, God knows, it is my guilty pleasure. Sitting there watching people on tv making a fool of themselves. But yes because of people like me that is how we keep ourselves down. Recently I was in NYC, and I went to visit a good friend of mine. Whilst I was at his home, he said I know how much you love reality shows and I want to experience watching it with you. So let's watch one of your favourite shows. So of course I chose Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. We watched it and he enjoyed watching it with me and he got excited as some parts and laughed his head off. He thought it was hilarious. But as we were watching, before we continue, my friend is a black male. He said something that stuck with me. He said these people are dressed up buffoons, paid to make a fool out of themselves. He also said, there is a black man on tv who would have two black women fight over him because he refuses to keep it real with them. He said, why would you have two women fight over you because you refuse to tell them truth to 'spare their feelings' when in actual fact you are tearing them down. So I thought about what he said after I left him and I realized, here we are watching a show by a network that is making our people look stupid and I am stupid enough to watch our people being torn down and made to look like dressed up buffoons. Act the fool and do stupid things for a pay cheque. Not all money is good money. Just for a paycheque will I reduce myself to nothing? Maybe not. I recently refused to apply for a job for a tobacco company because I would rather not work for a company that is selling cancer. But am I any better for watching a show that is killing our black pride?
I can go on and on about everything that is wrong in the world. What is wrong in community. But I can say this, until we love one another, until, we put our money in our black businesses, until we raise our children to love ourselves regardless of our skin tone, until we see how powerful black love is, until, we teach our kids that education is very important and how we have to teach our kids about who we are where we came from. Until we think that having multiple baby mamas or baby daddies makes us real men or women. Until we see how powerful the black family is. Until we stop looking at what separates us but rather what unites us we will continue having these problems. My mom always used to tell us this as kids, always stay close. Even when you and your siblings have fought, do not let any outsider see that. Because once you sell your sibling out to a stranger, you invite a stranger to come and divide you and your relationships will never be repaired. This applies to our race, how often do you hear of other communities fighting among themselves. Of course they do, but to the world they stand united against other people.
#AltonSterling, #PhilandoCastille, #TamirRice, #EricGarner #TrayvonMartin,#SandraBland #MikeBrown the names are endless may the all RIP, to all the names that did not make the news RIP, don't let their names just be hashtags, say their names, remind yourselves that until we unite, until we fight the good fight, we fight with our dollars, we fight with education, we fight with black love, we fight with our unity, unfortunately there will be more names that will become hashtags.
Let peace reign but don't stay silent, don't stay sleep. As Jesse Williams said 'Just because we are magic does not mean we are not real'
Stay woke people stay woke!!!
God bless you and I love each and everyone of you.
A.P.W
xoxo
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