Friendships in my 30s
I must apologize profusely, especially to one of my readers. I have not written in a long time, a lot has been happening and also a little bit of laziness. I have written this blog in my head over and over again but I just haven't gotten round to writing it. Today, I was scheduled to work an early shift, so instead of going to the gym, I said screw it let me come home early and get behind my laptop and write.
Anyway, so today I have decided to talk about friendships. I know.. I know I did say I will talk about my love life but right now its up in the air so I have nothing to write about.
My 30s has really opened my eyes to relationships I have forged over the years and how some relationships have disintegrated over the years and some have flourished. I want to turn back the hands of time to when I was 21 and spending my summers in London England not to be confused for London Ontario. I would spend my summer partying, with friends and my wonderful cousin. I remember my lovely cousin would organize impromptu bbqs with his boys and it turned out to be a massive turn up. I remember, I would get a call those, days when people actually called and he will say in fante Pee 'today we had some left over meat and we decided to grill'. So naturally I would call my girl and we will get dressed and go all the way to his place and lo and behold, meat is on the grill, alcohol flowing and this impromptu bbq will turn into a proper turn up. Well one particular time, he called and said this time its not just a bbq its a party in one of his friend's house so call your friends and lets make it a party. I called my bff and she said I've called some friends, meet them at the tube station by your place and come down with them. Not knowing one of the girls I was about to meet was going to be in my life till today and the other one would be the one to try and break up my friendships. Long story short, we had a great time and I got extremely close to the one who would turn out to be the "evil one". Little naive me, she would come up with the weirdest stories about my male and female bffs and my new friend I made. Naturally she made up stories at how these people were hurting me behind my back. Unfortunately, my bffs had started to distance themselves from me so her claims were backed up by their actions.
Again let me fast forward; after several lies and exaggerated stories, I decided to confront my friends. So in my true fashion, I wrote them letters and handed it to them on my way to the airport and said do not open until I get on the plane. ( I must say for a 21 year old I was quite dumb) I don't know, if I was scared that I will hear something I didn't want to hear, or the confrontation. I don't know I was 21. Anyways, before my plane landed in Canada my bff had called my land line to tell me to call her she needs to talk to me. When I got back we talked and everything was cleared up and now I have 3 amazing people in my life who have been with me through thick and thin. We might not see each other in years but when we do its like time hasn't passed. My other friend I don't speak to often but I love her dearly,. The other two I speak to often. The 'evil friend" after she tried to destroy us I haven't seen or spoken to her. I lie, I have seen her at least once, and it was as if our paths had never crossed.
Well I just told you a long winded story about my friendship at 21, but the point of it all is this. Ok I think there is a point to it but the point is, in my 30s, I have had friends come into my life, old friends become acquaintances, acquaintances become close friends, former crushes evolve to be more than crushes and then a distant memory. Technology has brought us closer, so technically it shouldn't matter what part of the globe you are in you should be able to keep in touch with friends more easily, but life gets in the way. But those who mean the world to you , even with crazy schedules, marriages, birth of children, crazy job schedules, will always be in your life. I know that there are few people even at 3 am if I need them they will pick up my call and hear me out. I remember in the past year, I was having a very bad day. All I wanted to do was hear one of my bff's voice because I know he is always the voice of reason. Due to the time difference it was uber late in his parts. I sent him a whatsapp saying 'I'm having a bad day and I wish you lived down the street and I could just stop by and see you or just pick up the phone and call you. Hopefully we can speak in the morning'. Within a matter of minutes my phone was ringing and he had called me to cheer me up . It was 3 am his time but, he still called to listen to me vent. I would do the same for those who are close to me because that's what friendship is about.
I know this blog is all over the place, I'm writing it and I'm like half it doesn't make sense. All I'm saying is this, when I was younger, I wanted to be known, I wanted to have so many friends. I wanted to walk into a room and people will say ehhhhh Panyin is here!!! Living in Ghana, I got to meet so many people and form so many "friendships". It got to a point having so many people in your life, meant drama, unnecessary gossip and envy. Now in my 30s, I have only a few friends. Most of my weekends are spent with maybe 2 friends or alone. I have joined meet up groups but the truth is after I attend a meet up group, I go home and live my life. We are not becoming best friends, I already have bffs. I look for quality friendships over many friends. The less people in your business the better. Yes sometimes I do get lonely. But, who doesn't? I am just glad that I have few people in my corner that matter and I know they are always there for me as I am for them..
Wishing you quality friendships that will last you a life time.
xoxo
A.P.W
Anyway, so today I have decided to talk about friendships. I know.. I know I did say I will talk about my love life but right now its up in the air so I have nothing to write about.
My 30s has really opened my eyes to relationships I have forged over the years and how some relationships have disintegrated over the years and some have flourished. I want to turn back the hands of time to when I was 21 and spending my summers in London England not to be confused for London Ontario. I would spend my summer partying, with friends and my wonderful cousin. I remember my lovely cousin would organize impromptu bbqs with his boys and it turned out to be a massive turn up. I remember, I would get a call those, days when people actually called and he will say in fante Pee 'today we had some left over meat and we decided to grill'. So naturally I would call my girl and we will get dressed and go all the way to his place and lo and behold, meat is on the grill, alcohol flowing and this impromptu bbq will turn into a proper turn up. Well one particular time, he called and said this time its not just a bbq its a party in one of his friend's house so call your friends and lets make it a party. I called my bff and she said I've called some friends, meet them at the tube station by your place and come down with them. Not knowing one of the girls I was about to meet was going to be in my life till today and the other one would be the one to try and break up my friendships. Long story short, we had a great time and I got extremely close to the one who would turn out to be the "evil one". Little naive me, she would come up with the weirdest stories about my male and female bffs and my new friend I made. Naturally she made up stories at how these people were hurting me behind my back. Unfortunately, my bffs had started to distance themselves from me so her claims were backed up by their actions.
Again let me fast forward; after several lies and exaggerated stories, I decided to confront my friends. So in my true fashion, I wrote them letters and handed it to them on my way to the airport and said do not open until I get on the plane. ( I must say for a 21 year old I was quite dumb) I don't know, if I was scared that I will hear something I didn't want to hear, or the confrontation. I don't know I was 21. Anyways, before my plane landed in Canada my bff had called my land line to tell me to call her she needs to talk to me. When I got back we talked and everything was cleared up and now I have 3 amazing people in my life who have been with me through thick and thin. We might not see each other in years but when we do its like time hasn't passed. My other friend I don't speak to often but I love her dearly,. The other two I speak to often. The 'evil friend" after she tried to destroy us I haven't seen or spoken to her. I lie, I have seen her at least once, and it was as if our paths had never crossed.
Well I just told you a long winded story about my friendship at 21, but the point of it all is this. Ok I think there is a point to it but the point is, in my 30s, I have had friends come into my life, old friends become acquaintances, acquaintances become close friends, former crushes evolve to be more than crushes and then a distant memory. Technology has brought us closer, so technically it shouldn't matter what part of the globe you are in you should be able to keep in touch with friends more easily, but life gets in the way. But those who mean the world to you , even with crazy schedules, marriages, birth of children, crazy job schedules, will always be in your life. I know that there are few people even at 3 am if I need them they will pick up my call and hear me out. I remember in the past year, I was having a very bad day. All I wanted to do was hear one of my bff's voice because I know he is always the voice of reason. Due to the time difference it was uber late in his parts. I sent him a whatsapp saying 'I'm having a bad day and I wish you lived down the street and I could just stop by and see you or just pick up the phone and call you. Hopefully we can speak in the morning'. Within a matter of minutes my phone was ringing and he had called me to cheer me up . It was 3 am his time but, he still called to listen to me vent. I would do the same for those who are close to me because that's what friendship is about.
I know this blog is all over the place, I'm writing it and I'm like half it doesn't make sense. All I'm saying is this, when I was younger, I wanted to be known, I wanted to have so many friends. I wanted to walk into a room and people will say ehhhhh Panyin is here!!! Living in Ghana, I got to meet so many people and form so many "friendships". It got to a point having so many people in your life, meant drama, unnecessary gossip and envy. Now in my 30s, I have only a few friends. Most of my weekends are spent with maybe 2 friends or alone. I have joined meet up groups but the truth is after I attend a meet up group, I go home and live my life. We are not becoming best friends, I already have bffs. I look for quality friendships over many friends. The less people in your business the better. Yes sometimes I do get lonely. But, who doesn't? I am just glad that I have few people in my corner that matter and I know they are always there for me as I am for them..
Wishing you quality friendships that will last you a life time.
xoxo
A.P.W
:-)
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