Having Faith through the turmoil

Happy Palm Sunday folks,
I managed to get up and go to church and even had a part to play during the Gospel. I got to be the Narrator during the persecution and trial of Jesus Christ.  In the Bible, we know that all that happened was in order for God's will to be done and our salvation to be guaranteed.   We are reminded that Jesus at one point asked God to take away the cup from Him but, if  He won't deliver it from Him then may His will be done.

Well I am not here to preach and remind you of the story of the crucifixion. If you are a Christian or you were raised in the Church you clearly know about the story but its also a reminder of our lives and what we go through day to day. Some days our lives seem so "perfect" and some days our lives seem like it is about to end. Either way most of us are able to make it through and realize no matter how difficult it gets we always make it through. Of course not without some battle wounds but at least we come out stronger although weary. The rainbow finally comes out and we see the beauty of our trial. Ok, I shall abstain from cliches but sometimes you need the redundant cliches to get the point across.

Well when I started to write this blog, I made it my mission to be honest with my readers with regards to my life. I promised to be open and direct as much as possible. Obviously some things will stay private but for the most part in order for my readers to relate to me, I decided that it will be a no holds barred with my blog. Therefore, let me be as honest and candid as possible with what just happened in my life very recently. I bare no shame because this is life it happens to the best of us but my faith in God and his plan for my life is what has kept me optimistic and my spirits high because I believe it is His will. Anyway, just this past week, I had been off work, as you guys know with my health issues, when my period comes, it means I miss some days of work. Anyway, so Wednesday I struggled into the office and  my manager tells me he has to have a conversation with me. Well every time he calls me into his office I know it is never good. Its always something he claims I have done, or haven't done or whatever. Its like being in school. Whenever you are called  to the Principal's office you know it is trouble. Unless you are like the perfect student then you know the Principal is about to reward you for good behaviour. But as my dear friend often' says, I digress. So I sit down with him and the Assistant manager and he begins to tell me that recently it has been extremely slow, and  a lot of changes are being made but unfortunately the bank has decided to eliminate some roles. Unfortunately, my name was drawn from the hat. ( As I said cliches put the point across) and my role has been eliminated. So the bank has given me one month to find a job within the bank or outside the bank and if after a month nothing happens, I will be given my severance package. Blah blah blah it sounded like a crock of shit. He said how sorry he was and its not just me but other's have also been laid off. but at my branch its just me. So at that moment, the only feeling I had was in my uterus and how badly, I wanted to go home and lay on my tummy and pray the pain away. I couldn't really feel anything about losing my job. So my manager asked me am I ok? I said honestly, I am not upset, I really believe this is God at work and he is delivering me from this role into something better.  Why should I worry when the Lord I serve has never failed me. He looks at me and said well yeah it might be God at work and it could be a blessing. I am really sorry but I wish you all the best and I give you permission to go home and feel better since you are in a lot of pain.

Anyway, so I go home, call my mom. Poor lady, she damn well close to tears. And I kid you not on the phone she starts to cry out, "Lord what have I done, is it my sins that have caused my children to not be where they are in life". Now at that point as she was wailing and feeling sorry for me and herself. I had a sudden craving for fufu and light soup.  I don't understand, every time my mom starts with her woe is me speeches, I start to crave food. Very weird or maybe I carry my emotions in my tummy. ( I might need a shrink to diagnose that to see if its a mental condition or I just love food so much it my emotions evoke hunger and cravings lol)

Well again I digress, the more I keep thinking about me losing my job the more I start to realize how much I believe that this is God at work. As you guys already know, at least those of you who follow my blogs, know I created a vision board. So far, my vision board seems to be coming to life. My health is about to improve, my dating life is well let's just say there is hope, and when it comes to my career , I see the light beyond the tunnel. I honestly did not like my job. Going to work always made me feel like I was suffocating. Oh yes don't get me wrong, I was grateful, I had a job that I could pay my rent and buy groceries and pay my bills. Right now without a job, I need to really be more careful with my money. But  because of Matthew 6:25-34. I am not worried, because the Lord provides for  His own. I know my bills will be paid and I know a new job is coming my way. But as I was saying, I wasn't happy in my work. I felt suffocated and I tried to do my best when I went to work but I also felt that this wasn't  for me. I believe, that God delivered me from this job and I believe that God is also going to bless me with the right job. Of course I'm not sitting at home and waiting for the job to come my way, but I'm doing my part. I am constantly applying for jobs even more so now than before. I am talking to more people to see if they can help me get a job or at least reach out to contacts.

Every time I pray, I ask God that my life will be a testimony for others.  I want His Glory to shine through me so that whenever a person loses hope, and their faith is waning, they can look at me and see my turmoil and how I overcame it through Christ who strengthens me and I am standing taller and stronger than before.

Today, I want all those going through turmoil in their life, who lost their jobs, who lost a person they loved, going through health issues, going through shit. I want you to know that God is not asleep. All He ask is that you have an ounce of faith, or a  mustard seed and He will do the rest. Once you have faith, you force yourself to do things, you take risks, you leap over the valleys and know that God will catch  you.  Just like a train that goes through a tunnel, it seems dark and it doesn't seem like a glimmer of light will come through, it eventually comes out of the tunnel and you see the light. Nothing last forever. Nothing is permanent. So why focus on the darkness when you need to focus on the Glory that shines at the end. Whatever we go through, we go through for a purpose. It might not seem like it at the moment, but eventually we come out of it and almost forget how dark it was.

So yes currently, I am unemployed. It sucks I know, but why am I going to stress. It won't bring back my job. Besides, if I wasn't happy was it really a loss or do I see it as a blessing? I would say the latter. It is a blessing because the Good Lord has delivered me and is taking me into greatness.

Happy Palm Sunday folks. Remember even though Jesus, died a painful and humiliating death on the cross, in three days He rose. So may you all rise as you go through your own personal crucifixions.

Love and blessings to all of you.

xoxo
A.P.W