Living life as I patiently wait or at least trying to
Hey fellow readers!
Something has been on my mind a lot lately, I think as each day passes this thought constantly crosses my mind. I had to constantly defend myself this past month when my mom was in town visiting but whilst she was in town I also got to learn a lot and a lot was observed whilst my parents were in town. Anyways I am sure a lot of you are in the same boat as me being single and waiting. The longer you stay single you start to question what is wrong with you and why you are still single.
If you live in Toronto you will meet a lot of black women or women in general who are single. Our national anthem is constantly Toronto men don't want us. Toronto men are punks. Shoo we spend so much time blaming Toronto men that now when they see us they duck lol. With the recent U.S election there is hope for Toronto women, if Americans are looking to relocate to Canada then Godwilling there will be an influx of American men who would be looking to hook up with Canadian women and all single women will finally meet our Prince Charming. ( I knew this election will bring some good lol)
Anyways, in this life we are all in- we all have to wait, be it for a job, or a life partner, to have a baby, to hit the lottery, to make our first million, for a doctors appointment, for exam results or medical report. Whatever it is we have to wait and if you are like me then waiting for the six pack to appear is one of the things you have to wait for. Well on a side note I think if I took my weight loss a bit more seriously instead of succumbing to my desires I will have that six pack.So recently a friend introduced me to this chocolate cake, by sweets of the earth, this canadian healthy bakery. It is egg free, dairy free, everything free but it is sooo good. So I decided to buy it and I've stored it in my freezer and eat it guilt free without realizing that it is still dessert and it might be cleaner but its not all that healthy. So if my fat behind would stop following food I would have my six pack by now. Anyways that was a side bar; but my point is that we are constantly waiting for something to happen in our lives. We are constantly being told that patience is a virtue but those who sit back waiting let their lives pass them by, but you should go for what you want instead of sitting back and waiting for things to come to you. Well that statement I agree and disagree with it. I agree with it that if you do want something go after it, and that hard work pays but I also see that perseverance will get the results you need. But I also disagree with a statement that sometimes if you go chasing after something and you are not ready to receive it or it is not yours to have when you can go after it you will never succeed or even if you do get it, it will bring you nothing but trouble.
I want to focus on waiting patiently whilst you are single. Let me say this, as we get older, we start to see that everyone around us seems to be settling down, getting married having kids. If you are in my shoes you might have friends who are even done having kids, or been married for 10 years and you are not even close to landing a first date. You look around you and your friends have relationships that are so darn near perfect that they are one hallmark card away from being perfect. You sometimes look at certain couples and you are like what does this person have that I don't have. I'm prettier, slimmer, more successful, got myself together and what makes them better than me. Maybe nothing, but if you are so focused on other people's relationships you will find yourself in a situation so bad you will wish you had just stayed single. I don't know about some of you, but me I don't enjoy drama. I watch enough reality TV to see that the drama ain't worth it. If I'm craving drama all I need to do is tune into love and hip hop and I can get my fill of drama to last me a year. I want to spend my life with a man that I am willing to endure the good the bad and the ugly. I don't want to spend my life going from one relationship to another, because I am attracting the wrong things. Stop having a pity party about what is wrong with you and start living. Shoo Rob Kardashian does enough self pity that you don't need to do it yourself.
What I have realized that, there is a purpose to me being single. This year, I had something happen in my life which I am not going to talk about just yet because ,God is preparing me for my testimony
to share that part of my journey. But anyways I got into a situation that was amazing. Trust me I resisted it for the longest time but eventually I couldn't fight it anymore and I gave in. Once I did it was great, unfortunately something major happened that put a halt to everything. Trust me there were times I was so heart broken I couldn't believe it. I thought of giving up and one day I had an honest conversation with God. And in my spirit I felt Him say that in order for me to bring it back, you need to do some work on you. First of all you need to draw closer to me and be willing to trust me fully and wholeheartedly. I need you to be prepared for it before I bring it back to you. I need you to enjoy this journey I am taking you on even when it gets hard and to trust me. In the end it will be a beautiful experience and it will be worth what I have for you. Trust me I did some soul searching and I've been working constantly on myself. I have built my relationship with God to the point that I don't even want to have this relationship with God just because He is going to give me what I want but because I desire to live in His purpose and share Him with everyone. I want to live a godly life. I want to spread His love to everyone near and far. I have learnt to let go of past hurt and pain. I am learning to be patient even when it seems so hard. I am learning to love unconditionally even when love is not returned the way I want it be returned. Learning to love selflessly instead of selfishly. The list goes on and on and on. At this point as much I want to be a wife and a mother, I want God's will more than my own. I wake up not worried that I just turned 34 and I am not married with no kids but I don't worry that it won't happen because I know it will. I just focus on my day and trying to be a better person today. I know that at the right time when God brings me the man that He has prepared for me. It will be a man who is whole and complete just as I will be whole and complete. God loves me too much and loves that man too much to bring us together when we are both damaged or unprepared.
Anyways, I am not saying don't go out there and put yourself out there or give up on finding someone. But I believe that whatever is yours will find their way to you at the right time. But focus on working on the qualities you want in a partner on yourself. Because you can't ask someone to treat you like royalty if you are not willing to treat them like royalty. You can't ask for a 10 when you are a six. I am not talking about looks here, I am talking about qualities and personalities. The things that matter. You can't ask someone to have no baggage when you are carrying so much even the porter at the airport will refuse to carry your baggage. Some of us have no business asking to be in relationships. We should be taking a break from relationships and working on us. Also to my ladies, I know we live in a world now that you have to fight and compete for men, but the last time I checked even in the fairytales it was Prince Charming who did the pursuing and not Snow White or Cinderella. We are now the pursuers instead of the pursuee. Let the men do their jobs. And also believe what is yours you don't have to chase after it it will find its way to you.
I'm asking you, even pleading with you, whether you are single or in a relationship, you need to ask The Holy Spirit,to search in your heart and show you what you need to do to prepare you for His perfect will in your life. Show me what I need to work on to receive the blessings you have for me. Once you do that, you will start to enjoy the journey you are on to making you the person you need to be for that partner God will bless you with. And whilst you pray, pray for your future partner too that God will prepare him for you and at the right time He will bring that person to you. Some of you might have met your Ms. Right or Mr. Right but for some reason your relationship isn't going as it should, ask God to show you His will and help you prepare for that relationship. I believe in a God that can transform and change any situation. So if it is looking bleak, dark, almost impossible remember God is bigger than that and He can make an imperfect situation perfect in His time.
So to my fellow single ones. Have faith, trust, believe, and enjoy the journey. Because nothing worth having comes easy. In the end it will be worth the tears, sleepless nights, the struggle because God makes everything beautiful in time His time.
God bless you all and everything will be alright.
Lots of love
A.P.W
xoxo
Something has been on my mind a lot lately, I think as each day passes this thought constantly crosses my mind. I had to constantly defend myself this past month when my mom was in town visiting but whilst she was in town I also got to learn a lot and a lot was observed whilst my parents were in town. Anyways I am sure a lot of you are in the same boat as me being single and waiting. The longer you stay single you start to question what is wrong with you and why you are still single.
If you live in Toronto you will meet a lot of black women or women in general who are single. Our national anthem is constantly Toronto men don't want us. Toronto men are punks. Shoo we spend so much time blaming Toronto men that now when they see us they duck lol. With the recent U.S election there is hope for Toronto women, if Americans are looking to relocate to Canada then Godwilling there will be an influx of American men who would be looking to hook up with Canadian women and all single women will finally meet our Prince Charming. ( I knew this election will bring some good lol)
Anyways, in this life we are all in- we all have to wait, be it for a job, or a life partner, to have a baby, to hit the lottery, to make our first million, for a doctors appointment, for exam results or medical report. Whatever it is we have to wait and if you are like me then waiting for the six pack to appear is one of the things you have to wait for. Well on a side note I think if I took my weight loss a bit more seriously instead of succumbing to my desires I will have that six pack.So recently a friend introduced me to this chocolate cake, by sweets of the earth, this canadian healthy bakery. It is egg free, dairy free, everything free but it is sooo good. So I decided to buy it and I've stored it in my freezer and eat it guilt free without realizing that it is still dessert and it might be cleaner but its not all that healthy. So if my fat behind would stop following food I would have my six pack by now. Anyways that was a side bar; but my point is that we are constantly waiting for something to happen in our lives. We are constantly being told that patience is a virtue but those who sit back waiting let their lives pass them by, but you should go for what you want instead of sitting back and waiting for things to come to you. Well that statement I agree and disagree with it. I agree with it that if you do want something go after it, and that hard work pays but I also see that perseverance will get the results you need. But I also disagree with a statement that sometimes if you go chasing after something and you are not ready to receive it or it is not yours to have when you can go after it you will never succeed or even if you do get it, it will bring you nothing but trouble.
I want to focus on waiting patiently whilst you are single. Let me say this, as we get older, we start to see that everyone around us seems to be settling down, getting married having kids. If you are in my shoes you might have friends who are even done having kids, or been married for 10 years and you are not even close to landing a first date. You look around you and your friends have relationships that are so darn near perfect that they are one hallmark card away from being perfect. You sometimes look at certain couples and you are like what does this person have that I don't have. I'm prettier, slimmer, more successful, got myself together and what makes them better than me. Maybe nothing, but if you are so focused on other people's relationships you will find yourself in a situation so bad you will wish you had just stayed single. I don't know about some of you, but me I don't enjoy drama. I watch enough reality TV to see that the drama ain't worth it. If I'm craving drama all I need to do is tune into love and hip hop and I can get my fill of drama to last me a year. I want to spend my life with a man that I am willing to endure the good the bad and the ugly. I don't want to spend my life going from one relationship to another, because I am attracting the wrong things. Stop having a pity party about what is wrong with you and start living. Shoo Rob Kardashian does enough self pity that you don't need to do it yourself.
What I have realized that, there is a purpose to me being single. This year, I had something happen in my life which I am not going to talk about just yet because ,God is preparing me for my testimony
to share that part of my journey. But anyways I got into a situation that was amazing. Trust me I resisted it for the longest time but eventually I couldn't fight it anymore and I gave in. Once I did it was great, unfortunately something major happened that put a halt to everything. Trust me there were times I was so heart broken I couldn't believe it. I thought of giving up and one day I had an honest conversation with God. And in my spirit I felt Him say that in order for me to bring it back, you need to do some work on you. First of all you need to draw closer to me and be willing to trust me fully and wholeheartedly. I need you to be prepared for it before I bring it back to you. I need you to enjoy this journey I am taking you on even when it gets hard and to trust me. In the end it will be a beautiful experience and it will be worth what I have for you. Trust me I did some soul searching and I've been working constantly on myself. I have built my relationship with God to the point that I don't even want to have this relationship with God just because He is going to give me what I want but because I desire to live in His purpose and share Him with everyone. I want to live a godly life. I want to spread His love to everyone near and far. I have learnt to let go of past hurt and pain. I am learning to be patient even when it seems so hard. I am learning to love unconditionally even when love is not returned the way I want it be returned. Learning to love selflessly instead of selfishly. The list goes on and on and on. At this point as much I want to be a wife and a mother, I want God's will more than my own. I wake up not worried that I just turned 34 and I am not married with no kids but I don't worry that it won't happen because I know it will. I just focus on my day and trying to be a better person today. I know that at the right time when God brings me the man that He has prepared for me. It will be a man who is whole and complete just as I will be whole and complete. God loves me too much and loves that man too much to bring us together when we are both damaged or unprepared.
Anyways, I am not saying don't go out there and put yourself out there or give up on finding someone. But I believe that whatever is yours will find their way to you at the right time. But focus on working on the qualities you want in a partner on yourself. Because you can't ask someone to treat you like royalty if you are not willing to treat them like royalty. You can't ask for a 10 when you are a six. I am not talking about looks here, I am talking about qualities and personalities. The things that matter. You can't ask someone to have no baggage when you are carrying so much even the porter at the airport will refuse to carry your baggage. Some of us have no business asking to be in relationships. We should be taking a break from relationships and working on us. Also to my ladies, I know we live in a world now that you have to fight and compete for men, but the last time I checked even in the fairytales it was Prince Charming who did the pursuing and not Snow White or Cinderella. We are now the pursuers instead of the pursuee. Let the men do their jobs. And also believe what is yours you don't have to chase after it it will find its way to you.
I'm asking you, even pleading with you, whether you are single or in a relationship, you need to ask The Holy Spirit,to search in your heart and show you what you need to do to prepare you for His perfect will in your life. Show me what I need to work on to receive the blessings you have for me. Once you do that, you will start to enjoy the journey you are on to making you the person you need to be for that partner God will bless you with. And whilst you pray, pray for your future partner too that God will prepare him for you and at the right time He will bring that person to you. Some of you might have met your Ms. Right or Mr. Right but for some reason your relationship isn't going as it should, ask God to show you His will and help you prepare for that relationship. I believe in a God that can transform and change any situation. So if it is looking bleak, dark, almost impossible remember God is bigger than that and He can make an imperfect situation perfect in His time.
So to my fellow single ones. Have faith, trust, believe, and enjoy the journey. Because nothing worth having comes easy. In the end it will be worth the tears, sleepless nights, the struggle because God makes everything beautiful in time His time.
God bless you all and everything will be alright.
Lots of love
A.P.W
xoxo
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