Welcome to the Friend Zone!!!
I had finally decided to go ahead and close my account and right when I made it a point to do it I receive a message that was refreshing. A guy who wasn't talking about my looks but a guy who had actually read my profile and wanted to get to know me. He asked me what I was currently reading and we took it from there. He seemed interesting enough. We were very similar in many respects. Talking to him made me realise that there are still some good men out there and especially in my city. He did tick quite a few boxes and he brought up the topic of marriage. He was also online looking to meet his future wife. He asked me what kind of wedding I wanted and all the questions a man who is serious about marriage would ask or so I thought. If you read his profile he mentioned how he is interested in meeting the one. This guy seemed to be legit. He was quick to want to meet up. We set a date and met. When we went on the date it was really enjoyable. The conversation was flowing, lots of laughter and I thought there was a connection. Anyways by the time I left, I was on cloud nine. I felt like this guy could be someone I could really enjoy spending time with. When we both got home we started chatting for a bit and then that was it.
This morning I woke up and no message from him, obviously my mind went into overdrive. We went from talking every day to now nothing. I started to freak out. All day I hadn't heard from him but he did mention that he had to go to work so I just assumed he was working. Anyways, this evening he finally messages me asking me how my day was yadda yada. Then he jumps in asking me when do I want to get married? In my mind I was like well this is random we have had this conversation in the past , but in the pit of my stomach, I felt a sense of dread. So I told him that I am ready to get married whenever, there is no set timeline. When I meet the one and we both on the same page that's great if not then fine. (But prior to that, I had been praying to God that if he isn't the one then guard my heart and remove him from my life if he is then Lord let everything work out.) So then after I said that, dude changed his tune. All of a sudden he had no interest to get married anymore., He had all these goals he wanted to accomplish before marriage came into play. At that moment I was like Nah dude is trying to tell me something. Anyways after hearing all he had to say, I asked if he still wanted to hang out or not? He then goes ahead to tell me that it's best we do not. Which is so weird because yesterday he was ready to hang out and meet up and then today he didn't want us to hang out anymore. His reasoning... he didn't want to waste my time because he felt we were not on the same page. But he still wants to stay friends. How convenient? I was like what in the hell is happening? How is it that yesterday we were making plans to go out on another date and I am getting the let's stay friends speech.
Anyways, so a million and one thoughts are going through my mind. What happened last night? Did I come off as desperate? Did I scare him off? I mean what happened within 24 hours? I mean what could have possibly happened?
Anyways, this is what I came up with. I prayed to God and asked him to show me if this is the one and he answered my prayer. In the grand scheme of things, although he is a good guy and we got along, long term I would be settling. I would be compromising on things I had been praying for. Not that he didn't possess a lot of the qualities I was praying for but in the long run one of the most important things I was looking for was a man who was God fearing. And clearly, he wasn't. He also wanted to live a lifestyle that was great don't get me wrong but in the end, it won't be fulfilling for me.
I just want to tell my single ones out there that yes you most likely will have the opportunity to date a few men or maybe one that you really think that it could go a long way but, when someone is presented before you, before you move ahead, ask God to reveal to you if that person is the one. I am glad that it had only been a week since I had met him, so although I had grown accustomed to him and was enjoying his company and I won't lie I am crushed that it didn't work out but I am also relieved that emotions had not been invested, and I wasn't going to beg a man to stay with me or consider me. I am also glad that I sought out God's counsel and allowed Him to show me that no my daughter this isn't the one. God spared me the heartache.
Trust me the one God has for you, you won't have to question, you won't have stress, it will be easy and effortless. He won't get your hopes up only to crush them. He will be consistent, he will not feed you with stories to get your attention. I mean I started to sense dude was friend zoning me when he kept saying I think you are cool. A guy who fancies me will not say I am cool. I think another indicator for me was this, I had said the man I am meant to be with will not send me good morning messages. He will show me that he wants me to have a good morning. The minute I saw the good morning messages I knew that something wasn't right. I am not saying that this guy was bad. As I type this he has messaged me a few times, so clearly either he is confused or he is just being polite.
I am not going to beg anyone to be in my life, I am not going to convince anyone why they should be in my life. I know my self-worth. I know that I deserve a man who knows what he wants and won't say one thing and change his tune when he sees that it might become a reality. I'm not trying to guesstimate what happened, but if I had to take a wild guess, I think he started to like me and it scared him because he couldn't give me what I needed at the moment so he had to back out before. It could be fear on his part or it could be his m.o to get someone's attention.
Anyways, guys, I"m just going to go and watch 90-day fiance and get over my disappointment. Tomorrow is a new day and I know that I am one step closer to meeting the man I'm meant to be with.
Sending you love and blessings
xoxo
A.P.W
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