The Dating Game!!

Hello Blogosphere,
                                                               
I must admit, being a single person really sucks in these times. There are so many rules to follow just to meet your person. Everyone has a point of view or a relationship expert. There are so many individuals that are self-certified to give advice on what one must do to get a date, to keep a date and to marry that said date. Between the self-proclaimed relationship gurus and the uber-religious experts selling their point of view on relationships. Yes, they are selling us their point of view to make a profit off our vulnerability. "Read this book to find the love of your life, watch this video to see the signs that he is lying". My goodness! Go to any social media platform and the signs point us to what we are doing wrong to stay single. 

Have you realized that most of these things are targetted at women? The women the poor victims of the predatory man who only wants one thing from you. Once he gets it he is onto his next unsuspecting victim. As a Christian woman, the man you should date this sinless man, who does not have any sexual urges until your wedding night and literally spends every chance he gets in church. Setting us up to have unrealistic expectations of this man. Also as a woman, you literally need to be the Virgin Mary to attract the man God has for you. Goodness gracious, you would think that we worship a God who is so wicked that if you do not conform to a certain way of life you won't find love. The impression we singles are given is that we must be perfect before we can find love. My gosh, I am almost ready to join a convent and become a nun because it is just too hard being a single person desiring a relationship.

Today I was listening to another relationship expert who happens to be a pastor's wife. She stated that we have over spiritualized dating. We have set these unrealistic expectations for the guy. A lot of churches, religious leaders, relationship experts expect women look out for sinless men. A guy that is so righteous that he will give Jesus a run for his money.  When the truth is, a lot of us women are not even righteous. Unless we are planning to marry a pastor or be a pastor ourselves why are we trying to put such expectations on men when we ourselves are not those type of women? At that point, the light bulb went on in my head. I have allowed the world to tell me what I am supposed to attract and the reality is that I am not even that righteous devout person. I don't want to marry a pastor or be one. I am not an every Sunday church person Yes I pray constantly and I love Jesus and I read my bible on a daily basis, but I cuss, I gossip from time to time. I don't always hold the door for someone to come into the elevator (actually I am the one who would rather hold the close door button when I see someone trying to catch the elevator.  I don't like sharing the elevator) I am far from perfect so why am I expecting this man to be that?| Of course, I am not saying that I'm looking for the bottom of the barrel. But I have put all these expectations on a person when I am not all those things.
                                                               

 I've decided, to stop following the rules. I've decided that the world isn't going to tell me how to attract the man for me. Of course, I will heed to guidance, but the bible says one thing often; Trust God and He will bless you with the desires of your heart. And He will give you infinitely more than you can ask or imagine. I just have to trust God to bless me with a man, not a perfect man but a perfect man for me.

Before I sign off, I saw my gynaecologist today, and he is the one person I can talk to about anything and everything. He will always give me his honest opinion. Especially regarding relationships, and today he said "Panyin, remember we all have issues, we are not perfect, so just hope for a man who will accept you just as you are and vice versa. As long as you remember this you will be fine.
                                                         

To my singles, throw out the rules, of course, have standards and stand by those standards but for crying out loud, unless you are trying to date Jesus Christ then stop having these impractical and unrealistic expectations.  Online dating is not the devil. If you trust God then trust that He can bring you your person even through online dating. The same people you will meet on the street are online.  Go on dates, meet multiple people, but of course use discernment, be safe, protect yourself and when you take the pressure off and enjoy the process, that right person will find their way to you at the right time.

Sending love and light
xoxo
A.P.W