When Reality hits and hits hard!!!
(Disclaimer: This post is not to garner sympathy, this is to show that in life we are all going through things and I want to use my post to give someone the strength to keep going and know they are not alone.)
Today I woke up to a missed call, a call I was dreading. I immediately dialled the number and the response to the question I had asked the night before was far worse than what I thought it was. At that moment I had to get out of my head and face reality. If I waste any time I will miss out on having children.
I lay in my room all day, feeling sorry for myself. I felt sorry that again one more thing I had to deal with, lack of a job, no man in sight, health issues and now if I don't get things moving I could be childless.
The devil played in my head, he made me feel all hope was lost, that it wasn't going to happen for me. Everything I am going through I deserved it. I sulked and felt miserable, I googled solutions. Solutions I could not afford due to my current financial constraints. I started to feel extremely helpless, but not hopeless. Because amidst all this chaos and the voices in my head screaming there is no hope, I felt a glimmer of hope because God has come through in bigger situations. Not just in my life but in the lives of people I know.
This morning I had to make another phone call. This phone call I had to plead that my payment was being withheld and I needed that money to pay my bills. As I sat on the phone with the lady to find out what the hold-up was, I said a prayer. I said Lord I need this breakthrough. The lady comes back on the phone to say the person who had previously taken down my information had put down the information incorrectly. Hence why there was a hold-up, but since I had given her the correct information the money is being released. Sometimes mixed signals can cost us a time of waiting, but sometimes clarifications need to be made in order to release what you need
I have been getting my signals crossed with God, I tell Him I need Him, but then I try and control my life. I take control and take things into my own hands. I try to force my way instead of just surrendering to God. I have forced my way so much that I have delayed my own blessings. I am giving out information that is incorrect and God needs me to clarify. Maybe He doesn't but he wants me to just relax. Today, getting that phone call, really woke me up and made me see, I am helpless, but not hopeless. I needed to get to this place of helplessness for me to really surrender and let God take over. It is often said don't wait till God comes looking for you because when He does He shows up big and He will disrupt everything for you to see him. The reality is, the stage of my life that I am in with all that is going on, I really can't control it anymore. I have to let the Master, my Creator, my Father, my Friend show me the direction He wants me to go and to show me He has it all figured out Once I clarify that I truly want him to take over He can then release all that He has for me.
Well as I sit and anxiously wait for restoration, for deliverance, for answered prayers. I'm just going to have faith, complete and utter faith that God has got this all under control.
Helpless but not Hopeless
xoxo
A.P.W
I lay in my room all day, feeling sorry for myself. I felt sorry that again one more thing I had to deal with, lack of a job, no man in sight, health issues and now if I don't get things moving I could be childless.
The devil played in my head, he made me feel all hope was lost, that it wasn't going to happen for me. Everything I am going through I deserved it. I sulked and felt miserable, I googled solutions. Solutions I could not afford due to my current financial constraints. I started to feel extremely helpless, but not hopeless. Because amidst all this chaos and the voices in my head screaming there is no hope, I felt a glimmer of hope because God has come through in bigger situations. Not just in my life but in the lives of people I know.
This morning I had to make another phone call. This phone call I had to plead that my payment was being withheld and I needed that money to pay my bills. As I sat on the phone with the lady to find out what the hold-up was, I said a prayer. I said Lord I need this breakthrough. The lady comes back on the phone to say the person who had previously taken down my information had put down the information incorrectly. Hence why there was a hold-up, but since I had given her the correct information the money is being released. Sometimes mixed signals can cost us a time of waiting, but sometimes clarifications need to be made in order to release what you need
I have been getting my signals crossed with God, I tell Him I need Him, but then I try and control my life. I take control and take things into my own hands. I try to force my way instead of just surrendering to God. I have forced my way so much that I have delayed my own blessings. I am giving out information that is incorrect and God needs me to clarify. Maybe He doesn't but he wants me to just relax. Today, getting that phone call, really woke me up and made me see, I am helpless, but not hopeless. I needed to get to this place of helplessness for me to really surrender and let God take over. It is often said don't wait till God comes looking for you because when He does He shows up big and He will disrupt everything for you to see him. The reality is, the stage of my life that I am in with all that is going on, I really can't control it anymore. I have to let the Master, my Creator, my Father, my Friend show me the direction He wants me to go and to show me He has it all figured out Once I clarify that I truly want him to take over He can then release all that He has for me.
Helpless but not Hopeless
xoxo
A.P.W
#JesusTakeTheWheel
ReplyDelete#Trust&Obey
amen
Delete