The life behind the social media looking glass
Good morning Blogosphere,
It is Friyaaayyyy!!!!! Thank God, It is another gloomy Friday in Toronto. At least it is warm but the clouds are hiding the sun and we are anxiously waiting for the sun to peak through the clouds and give us hope for the day. My girl is in town from London England and she has brought some excitement into my life so I hope the sun comes out so she can enjoy the beauty of the six. But whether rain or shine we will try and make her trip memorable.
This weather I must say is very metaphoric to what I am writing about today. The clouds hiding the sun is pretty much what we do every single day of our lives. We are hiding behind social media to live lives that we know do not exist whilst we have lives which are fighting to shine through but we are afraid to show it off in fear of judgement.
This morning I was on Instagram and I stumbled on a video my dearest uncle put up. In a nutshell, it was this dude who was lamenting about how this generation is so fake and how we use social media to live these fake lives. One thing that resonated with me that he stated was, if he was to follow people to their homes then he will see the lives that people are actually living.
In our world today, thanks to social media, reality shows and whatnot we are all hiding behind these tools so we do not show the real lives we actually live. It is almost scary the lengths people will go just to show to a world of people who are also living pretentious lives, that our lives are so perfect when in actual fact our lives are all less than perfect.
just recently finished reading a book by Sophia Kinsella called "My not so Perfect Life" Yes I do enjoy chick lits I am not ashamed to admit. If you know anything about Sophia Kinsella and her novels is that her protagonist which always happens to be a female is just like you and me. In the eyes of the world, she is an average woman who is living a life that is not so glamorous and is struggling to keep up with every day. Most of her characters are desiring to live very perfect lives but in actuality find it a struggle. But, by the end of the book, she has finally come to a place of acceptance and living her life the way she was meant to. This last one I read without spoiling the plot for those who haven't read it; this young woman who came from Somerset in the UK and has been dying to live in London. She finally moves to London and gets a job in an advertising firm and basically spends her time on instagram, Instagramming her perfect life. But unbeknownst to her friends and family, she is living a life of struggle. Living in a tiny flat in London where she can't fit even a chest of drawers in her bedroom, has two quirky roommates that she does not get along with. Working at an entry-level position for a company that is clearly falling to pieces due to mismanagement. She posts pictures of all these glamorous places she goes to and in actual fact she just walks into the place takes pictures of people's foods and drinks and pose as if it were her own. She barely has any friends in the city and the life she had envisioned is nowhere near what she is living. She envies the life of her boss who seems to be living a life of glamour because her boss keeps talking about all these wonderful things she does, her home and life. Only to find out the woman she envied was living a lie. In the end, things turn around in her world and she begins to appreciate her not so perfect life.
What made this book so relatable just like all of Sophia's books is that we all someway somehow live our lives portraying what we are not. We all have a voyeuristic view of everyone's life and feel the need to make the voyeurs in our life have something to envy. We all know that person if not ourselves who makes sure we take these pictures filters and photoshops them to the point of it not being recognisable. Thanks to all these filtering tools and apps today, you can go from looking "basic" to look like a "bad bitch" We can go from a size 12 by the time we take the picture and by the time we finish filtering and photoshopping we would be a size 2. I mean how is that possible and why do we even bother? We have shows like catfish where people will steal other people's pictures and lives online just to deceive a possible love interest because we are afraid that if we put up our own picture we would not be desirable to the world. I have heard stories where people would meet someone online and most likely it was the picture that drew them to the individual , they will meet in person and that size two individual or muscular person would turn up either overweight or extremely skinny because they were afraid they would not be seen as attractive to the other person. Then when they don't get a call back they complain that the person is shallow. No, you were shallow to think that altering your look to get the attention of someone is the only way to get the attention of the person you were trying to get.
We live in a world where we need to constantly "impress or compete" with one another. Where the standard of beauty is defined by what Hollywood states, where a group of sociologist have deduced what stage in life each person needs to be. If you have not reached that level of success by a certain age you are deemed as lazy and unambitious. We are told that we have to lose sleep, we have to work longer hours, when we get home from working a 9-5 we are supposed to keep working. We spend our lives chasing after the Joneses so that we can prove to the world that we are worthy. We apologise to the world when we have not attained a level of success. We turn to illegal means to be able to drive a luxury car or wear the Yeezy shoes just so we are accepted. We are giving up our moral standards just so we can live a standard of life that we can't keep up. We steal and borrow just so we can live fake lives to impress fake people.
I recently posted a video up on Instagram and one of the first things I did was apologise for not wearing makeup on. Thinking about it now, why did I apologise? Was I not made in the likeness of God, so why do I apologise for not wearing makeup? I mean let me toot my own horn, I believe I am a beautiful, attractive woman. Yes, wearing makeup enhances my looks but then without makeup I know I am just as beautiful. I may not have a body of a model, nor am I the most beautiful person in the world. But in God's eyes, I am the most beautiful woman to Him, just as you are the most beautiful in His eyes. One day to my future husband (where the hell is he?) I will be the most beautiful woman in His world and in my children's eyes, I will be the most beautiful woman. But then now we live in a world where we apologise for not looking a certain way. We are ashamed because social media has made us feel insecure in our looks and in our image.
All I know is that we are all allowing social media dictate the life that we should live. We go on LinkedIn and we see friends and family who have job titles that we are envious of. We go on facebook and we see our friends and family post pictures of their wonderful lives. We are on Instagram and we see fitness models show off their perfect bodies. But let me tell you this, those friends we see on LinkedIn with the perfect job titles may have nice titles but hardly can make ends meet because of the huge responsibilities. The friends on facebook who are talking about their perfect lives are constantly depressed because they wish they didn't have to pretend. And some of those IG fitness models fail to tell you they spent hours on the plastic surgeon's table to achieve that body we so wish we had. I'm not saying it is always the case but sometimes it is.
Iam 34 years old, 35 in 4 months, I am single and not dating because I can't even get someone to smile at me, unemployed, over my desired body weight, suffering from an autoimmune condition, sharing an apartment with my single twin sister. My life is faaaarrr from glamorous, but you know what? I am blessed. I do not need to put this fake life on social media just to impress my friends. I walk down the street and every mile I walk, I see a homeless person, either asleep on the pavement, or begging and I realise how blessed I am. Yes, what I had imagined my life to be at this point in my life is far from what it is but I am blessed. I could easily be one of those people but I am not. I know that this season in my life is temporary and not that I haven't worked hard to get myself out of this season but I realised that my life is not my own. So I can do all that I can but if it's not "God's time then I have to endure this season until it is time for me to move on.
Anyways, I've got to go, I have an appointment, but just remember social media is a beautiful tool, but if you use it as a looking glass you will end up trying to live a life you are not meant to live and end up miserable.
Your life may not be glamorous but nobody's life is, we are all going through this journey called life the best way we know how. The only thing we need to do is trust God and enjoy our season of life because it will pass us by quickly.
God bless you all and forget social media embrace the real!
lots of love
xoxo
A.P.W
It is Friyaaayyyy!!!!! Thank God, It is another gloomy Friday in Toronto. At least it is warm but the clouds are hiding the sun and we are anxiously waiting for the sun to peak through the clouds and give us hope for the day. My girl is in town from London England and she has brought some excitement into my life so I hope the sun comes out so she can enjoy the beauty of the six. But whether rain or shine we will try and make her trip memorable.
This weather I must say is very metaphoric to what I am writing about today. The clouds hiding the sun is pretty much what we do every single day of our lives. We are hiding behind social media to live lives that we know do not exist whilst we have lives which are fighting to shine through but we are afraid to show it off in fear of judgement.
This morning I was on Instagram and I stumbled on a video my dearest uncle put up. In a nutshell, it was this dude who was lamenting about how this generation is so fake and how we use social media to live these fake lives. One thing that resonated with me that he stated was, if he was to follow people to their homes then he will see the lives that people are actually living.
In our world today, thanks to social media, reality shows and whatnot we are all hiding behind these tools so we do not show the real lives we actually live. It is almost scary the lengths people will go just to show to a world of people who are also living pretentious lives, that our lives are so perfect when in actual fact our lives are all less than perfect.
just recently finished reading a book by Sophia Kinsella called "My not so Perfect Life" Yes I do enjoy chick lits I am not ashamed to admit. If you know anything about Sophia Kinsella and her novels is that her protagonist which always happens to be a female is just like you and me. In the eyes of the world, she is an average woman who is living a life that is not so glamorous and is struggling to keep up with every day. Most of her characters are desiring to live very perfect lives but in actuality find it a struggle. But, by the end of the book, she has finally come to a place of acceptance and living her life the way she was meant to. This last one I read without spoiling the plot for those who haven't read it; this young woman who came from Somerset in the UK and has been dying to live in London. She finally moves to London and gets a job in an advertising firm and basically spends her time on instagram, Instagramming her perfect life. But unbeknownst to her friends and family, she is living a life of struggle. Living in a tiny flat in London where she can't fit even a chest of drawers in her bedroom, has two quirky roommates that she does not get along with. Working at an entry-level position for a company that is clearly falling to pieces due to mismanagement. She posts pictures of all these glamorous places she goes to and in actual fact she just walks into the place takes pictures of people's foods and drinks and pose as if it were her own. She barely has any friends in the city and the life she had envisioned is nowhere near what she is living. She envies the life of her boss who seems to be living a life of glamour because her boss keeps talking about all these wonderful things she does, her home and life. Only to find out the woman she envied was living a lie. In the end, things turn around in her world and she begins to appreciate her not so perfect life.
What made this book so relatable just like all of Sophia's books is that we all someway somehow live our lives portraying what we are not. We all have a voyeuristic view of everyone's life and feel the need to make the voyeurs in our life have something to envy. We all know that person if not ourselves who makes sure we take these pictures filters and photoshops them to the point of it not being recognisable. Thanks to all these filtering tools and apps today, you can go from looking "basic" to look like a "bad bitch" We can go from a size 12 by the time we take the picture and by the time we finish filtering and photoshopping we would be a size 2. I mean how is that possible and why do we even bother? We have shows like catfish where people will steal other people's pictures and lives online just to deceive a possible love interest because we are afraid that if we put up our own picture we would not be desirable to the world. I have heard stories where people would meet someone online and most likely it was the picture that drew them to the individual , they will meet in person and that size two individual or muscular person would turn up either overweight or extremely skinny because they were afraid they would not be seen as attractive to the other person. Then when they don't get a call back they complain that the person is shallow. No, you were shallow to think that altering your look to get the attention of someone is the only way to get the attention of the person you were trying to get.
We live in a world where we need to constantly "impress or compete" with one another. Where the standard of beauty is defined by what Hollywood states, where a group of sociologist have deduced what stage in life each person needs to be. If you have not reached that level of success by a certain age you are deemed as lazy and unambitious. We are told that we have to lose sleep, we have to work longer hours, when we get home from working a 9-5 we are supposed to keep working. We spend our lives chasing after the Joneses so that we can prove to the world that we are worthy. We apologise to the world when we have not attained a level of success. We turn to illegal means to be able to drive a luxury car or wear the Yeezy shoes just so we are accepted. We are giving up our moral standards just so we can live a standard of life that we can't keep up. We steal and borrow just so we can live fake lives to impress fake people.
I recently posted a video up on Instagram and one of the first things I did was apologise for not wearing makeup on. Thinking about it now, why did I apologise? Was I not made in the likeness of God, so why do I apologise for not wearing makeup? I mean let me toot my own horn, I believe I am a beautiful, attractive woman. Yes, wearing makeup enhances my looks but then without makeup I know I am just as beautiful. I may not have a body of a model, nor am I the most beautiful person in the world. But in God's eyes, I am the most beautiful woman to Him, just as you are the most beautiful in His eyes. One day to my future husband (where the hell is he?) I will be the most beautiful woman in His world and in my children's eyes, I will be the most beautiful woman. But then now we live in a world where we apologise for not looking a certain way. We are ashamed because social media has made us feel insecure in our looks and in our image.
All I know is that we are all allowing social media dictate the life that we should live. We go on LinkedIn and we see friends and family who have job titles that we are envious of. We go on facebook and we see our friends and family post pictures of their wonderful lives. We are on Instagram and we see fitness models show off their perfect bodies. But let me tell you this, those friends we see on LinkedIn with the perfect job titles may have nice titles but hardly can make ends meet because of the huge responsibilities. The friends on facebook who are talking about their perfect lives are constantly depressed because they wish they didn't have to pretend. And some of those IG fitness models fail to tell you they spent hours on the plastic surgeon's table to achieve that body we so wish we had. I'm not saying it is always the case but sometimes it is.
Iam 34 years old, 35 in 4 months, I am single and not dating because I can't even get someone to smile at me, unemployed, over my desired body weight, suffering from an autoimmune condition, sharing an apartment with my single twin sister. My life is faaaarrr from glamorous, but you know what? I am blessed. I do not need to put this fake life on social media just to impress my friends. I walk down the street and every mile I walk, I see a homeless person, either asleep on the pavement, or begging and I realise how blessed I am. Yes, what I had imagined my life to be at this point in my life is far from what it is but I am blessed. I could easily be one of those people but I am not. I know that this season in my life is temporary and not that I haven't worked hard to get myself out of this season but I realised that my life is not my own. So I can do all that I can but if it's not "God's time then I have to endure this season until it is time for me to move on.
Anyways, I've got to go, I have an appointment, but just remember social media is a beautiful tool, but if you use it as a looking glass you will end up trying to live a life you are not meant to live and end up miserable.
Your life may not be glamorous but nobody's life is, we are all going through this journey called life the best way we know how. The only thing we need to do is trust God and enjoy our season of life because it will pass us by quickly.
God bless you all and forget social media embrace the real!
lots of love
xoxo
A.P.W
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